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Father to Daughter

May 31, 2010

Okay – one more post about Dad angst before I go back to broader topics…

One week from tomorrow, God willing, we will welcome a fourth girl – Ella Rae – into our family. I was thinking tonight about the years we ached for just one child and the task we have now undertaken – raising 4 girls. It’s more than I ever hoped for, but now I’m praying (as I think all parents must) that it’s not more than I can handle…

As I think tonight about the mysteries of fathers and daughters, I randomly remembered this music video from our old pal Lindsay Lohan, back when she was a young starlet with a bright future. I don’t know how much of this is embellished and how much is autobiography, but I do remember how I felt when I saw it for the first time: physically ill. And maybe a little angry. And I am thinking now about the tragic turns her life has taken, and thinking that maybe we should have seen it coming back then.

I dream of another you, one who would never.
Never, leave me alone to pick up the pieces.
A Daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed.

Haunting. Especially for us father-types. When I see LiLo in a news story, I don’t see a hedonistic Hollywood celeb or a cautionary tale or a target of ridicule. I see the scared, angry, hurting little girl in this video. And I think two things:

One: Lindsay, you do have a Father dying to hold you, whole will never leave you alone, who will pick up the pieces. And He’s close. And it’s never too late.

Two: Dear God – make me like You so I don’t mess up my girls.

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I Deserve This.

April 2, 2010

"I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!" screamed Veruca Salt, stamping her foot.13 years ago next month I graduated college and began “full time vocational ministry” work. Of my contemporaries who did the same, a good chunk of have abandoned that pursuit, some because they fell morally or ethically, even more because they just didn’t see the point anymore. I can think of an even larger number of “heroes” of the American church who have publicly and painfully crashed and burned – great leaders who turned out to be living a double-life. Frankly, it’s hard to have heroes anymore – and maybe we were never supposed to.

Though I work a day job to support the ever-increasing family, I still am honored to preach, teach, and otherwise participate in a local community of faith. I still consider making disciples my primary life’s work and purpose. And I’ve been thinking a lot lately about those who have left that work, especially through their own destructive choices – and how not to become one of them.

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Hard.

February 23, 2010

old_bibleNot a lot of time, but feeling the need to post. I have been working up the outline of a book I’d like to write (much like this blog, it will likely never reach any audience, but it’s something I always wanted to try). It’s called “Letters to Neo.” The basic idea is to frame Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus – young pastors he was mentoring – along with a few of his other words of wisdom for “overseers” in light of current American culture. These are timeless words, and they are profound in the context of the part of the Story we find ourselves in.

I’ve also been studying to teach about some of the “Hard Words of Jesus” at Redwood Hills. The upshot of both of those efforts is that I have been thinking a lot about Jesus’ ministry on a practical level – His words, His way of doing things, and how it affected the first generation of His disciples. A million deep thoughts come from that, but here’s one for today:

It’s hard to be like Jesus.

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A Consistent Ethic of Life

January 29, 2010

As I prepare to share the story of how our family came to be this Sunday at Redwood Hills, I am thinking about one of the main questions we get asked a lot: are fertility treatments consistent with Christian ethics (or more like “are Christians allowed to do that kind of thing?”)? It’s a great question, and one we have spent plenty of time wrestling with. I won’t have time to go into any detail on Sunday, so I thought I would blog it here for you three readers (yes, we are up to three now :-)). Let me first lay some ground rules.

This is not the Law from Heaven on fertility treatments. It’s also not my attempt to help you circumvent the process of wrestling with this question. If you are facing it, you need to. To me this is not a political issue or a morality tale, it’s simply an intensely personal choice we had to apply our faith to. We hope we got it right. We did our homework. We prayed for wisdom. We believe we were heard.